My Meetup Misadventures (Part 4)

I left off presenting e-mail correspondence with an IBD Meetup organizer from December 2014. My hope was to get involved with his group on the option trading front.

My reply is given below. Because this was not particularly well-received, I am going to include editorial comments.

     > Here are some of my thoughts. I’d like an options group

I start right out with a demand, which sounds like I’m ordering food from a restaurant. To make this softer, I could have consolidated the first two sentences with “I was thinking of an options group…”

     > that does a couple things. First, heavy on networking.

“Couple” means two.

I follow that with a sentence fragment, which perpetuates the demanding tone. A nicer way of writing would be “…that could also serve a networking function.”

     > This is a solitary business and I don’t think I’ve met
     > another trader yet who hasn’t enjoyed the opportunity

I should be careful using absolutes with people I do not know. For the sake of expediency I use them in writing, but if you talk to me then I think you’ll find me to be more open-minded and willing to work toward a shared solution.

     > to “talk shop” with a fellow trader because they don’t
     > often get the chance. Second, I want people to share what
     > they’re doing (e.g. their “bread and butter” trading).
     > That can introduce ideas for others looking to trade
     > something new. Third, I want people who are interested

“I’d like… I want… I want…” This sounds like a list of bullet points, which may be too harsh for someone who doesn’t even know me. Also noteworthy is that I have now added a third item to the list when above I announced two. I wonder if it doesn’t sound like I can’t hold myself back from repetitively hammering away at something.

     > in working together to develop strategies. If a trader is
     > perfectly happy with his/her trading and needs nothing more
     > then s/he probably won’t be trying to attend a group anyway.
     > I think everyone interested in a group like this will be
     > interested to develop strategy.

Lots of absolutes (e.g. “perfectly,” “nothing,” “everyone”) and assumptions may connote inflexibility and dominance. Many people would not want to work with a complete stranger who sounds rigorous and opinionated.

For the future, if I feel the need to use language like this then I think a phone call would be better received. I am usually a pretty nice guy although it may not always translate in writing.

I will continue next time.